Where I live, it’s 6:30am. My living room, where I sit sipping hot coffee with my dog at my feet, is warm and cozy. Last night I woke up somewhere between 2 and 3:30am because I couldn’t sleep. Im not sure whether or not to blame it on the full moon or not.
My daughter sure did. She lives next door and joins me for coffee every day. This morning around 8am she burst through the kitchen door and declared, “Damn full moon! ” She recounted how she spent the night tossing and turning, then going downstairs to eat a mango and worry about the tiny mouse she saw in her house. I said, “You should have texted me. I was awake too!” Regardless, during my free time last night, I decided to get up and finish a small page I was working on for my art journal.
As I sat at my desk sketching out the page, I allowed myself to draw whatever I felt. It didn’t have to make sense and it didn’t have to be perfect. No judgment. Well, maybe a little but the point was to draw and immerse myself into not thinking about it so much.
The final outcome was these 4 ladies, and the one on the left, I did a few days ago. That day, I felt very light and carefree the entire day, which I thought was strange, but hey, enjoy it, right? The colors, if you notice, are light, and I think I completed it in about an hour. The eyes are soft and peaceful.
But on the other page at the right, I definitely had something going on last night. Each lady has a scar. Some are sad, one is peaceful, and I love nature, especially lush green forests, so the idea was to draw the mountains.
It helped me understand that no matter how much we smile and say everything is great, maybe behind the smile, things aren’t so great. Or at one point in our lives, it wasn’t. All of us, men and women, have scars to some degree.
Art is such a unique way to express your thoughts and feelings through drawing and color. The difference in the two pages was so surprising that the contrast leaped at me from the page. If we are willing to let the paint flow, you may be surprised at what you create.
Sketching and drawing don’t require perfectionism.
I watch videos sometimes of artists on Instagram, and I used to feel frustrated because my work was nowhere close to theirs, but we are all individuals and working towards our goals at our own pace. Life is not a damn race nor should it be a competition.
Rather, be patient with yourself. Scars and all. Enjoy the moments where you are peaceful and not thinking so much! Maybe art isn’t for you, but whatever it is. Relish those moments.
This life is no easy ball game, and it should be played with kindness towards oneself, with respect and forgiveness, because we are not perfect, nor should we put pressure on ourselves to be so. That is not loving ourselves. It’s punishment.
I’m about to get up for cup number two! Surprisingly, I don’t feel so “dragged under the truck” this morning after waking up so early. The day is looking good!
P.S. I have nothing against the full moon. It’s beautiful. It’s just a small joke between us. 🙂
The Art Diaries 